Nineteen & Twenty {31 Days of Wisdom}

It’s happening.

Those years people told me about when a boy becomes a man.  I see the struggle to break free and separate like a to and fro… sometimes they long to be close, sometimes they want to be as far as possible.

The challenge for me is to know how much to hold on and when to let go.

A good friend advised me this week to separate myself from their emotions.  Much like when a 2-year-old who throws himself on the ground in a tantrum… the advice is to walk away and not acknowledge it.  I’m now supposed to detach from the anger of an adolescent to prevent further kindling.

Trouble is, I’ve got both ends of the spectrum right now.


“Good sense makes one slow to anger,
    and it is his glory to overlook an offense.”

My issue is the good sense because none of it makes sense to me. It’s been a long time since I threw my hands up in an adolescent rage, but I remember it well.  Your feelings get out of control and out the heart, the mouth speaks.

So when they are out of control, my goal is stay in control.  Not of them but of me.  It’s the discipline of remaining steadfast when nothing seems steady to them.


“Discipline your son, for there is hope;
    do not set your heart on putting him to death.”

Not sure if I have what it takes for this ride.  But He does.  In Him there is hope.

But I know, when I lose control they no longer hear.  All they see/hear is that loss of control.


“Cease to hear instruction, my son,
    and you will stray from the words of knowledge.”

They have to find their own way and I can see the way separating from mine.  I can’t go with them, but I can go alongside them.  I can’t walk it for them but I can show them the way.


“A man’s steps are from the Lord;
    how then can man understand his way?”

Ultimately they need to find their Compass. The One who will direct them.   The One who goes before them.  The One who really knows the way.

Today I’m praying for an extra measure of love…the steadfast kind. I’m praying for faithfulness, the job assigned to me 11 years ago.

I am reminded of how desperately I need this Wisdom the Proverbs give.

One thought on “Nineteen & Twenty {31 Days of Wisdom}

  1. “So when they are out of control, my goal is stay in control. Not of them but of me.” These lines are great! I think that really is the key. We really can’t “control” them…but by controlling ourselves we are the steadfast parents they need, as you point out. Very helpful way to think about it!

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